Moody Blues

Normally, I am a glass half full kinda girl. I accept life at face value and try to use humor as much as possible. However, lately I have been grumpy, irritable and just downright moody. I cry for no apparent reason and snap at my poor sweet unsuspecting hubby. What is going on? I feel like I am Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde! I highly suspect a combination of hormones and lingering grief are to blame. I have been offered a supplement for the hormone issue but do not choose to go that route. I don't like drugs. I have a small pharmacy as it is what with all of B-man's meds so I really do not favor adding anything else to the lot. As for the grief, well,I guess only time can heal a hurting heart.

I miss my friend very much. There aren't any other girlfriends that I talk to on a regular basis. When we moved, I left them all behind and now that I am basically a stay at home mom, I really have no way to make other friends. I have attempted to start up a group of other mom's with adult children that have special needs but so far, I am the only one that seems to have any real interest in it. Both times I have set up nights out, most everyone backs out. The first one, only one person came and this last one, only two people showed up. I guess two is better than none though. Really, I am just lonely. I will get over it eventually...I hope. I have never felt this alone before. My friend was always there to hang out with, go shopping or just grab lunch. Now, it is just B-man and me going out to eat or shopping. I miss the girl talk, heck I just miss any talk. With B-man being non-verbal, I do all the talking. I have to admit though, he is the best secret keeper EVER!

The other problem is one of judgement. My friend's hubby is beginning to date again. It has only been barely 3 months, shouldn't he still be grieving as well? He takes his new "friend" to very nice restaurants, much nicer than anywhere he ever took his wife. That makes me hurt for my friend. I feel like she is being betrayed. I know, it isn't any of my business but I am still grieving her loss so badly and I cannot even imagine if it had been my spouse that at only 3 months out, I would be anywhere near ready to date again. It just gets to me, that's all. My hubby said even he is bothered by it all but they are friends and so he keeps quiet. I fear that he will soon invite her to one of our little get togethers. What will I do? How will I act? What will I say? Hopefully, I will have the answers to these questions before I actually need them!

As for my mood, I want to feel better. It seems that along with the bad mood comes aches and pains that I have never had before. I am ready for these to go away as well. I am sure that stress plays a major role somewhere in all of this because B-man has been having feeding problems and Sissy has been in the hospital.(Thankfully, she was released last night and is now feeling better.) My kids really do keep me on my toes. I am always saying that I simply do not have time to be ill myself because I am so busy caring for them. Speaking of which, I'd better go to bed...the feedings begin at 0500!

~Ginger~